the blog may be quiet.....

rox and i will be back next week!!

aloha!

a happier story that still ends with hawaii or bust

do you see that natural instinct there? the smile, the hair flip, the eye contact.....

so kate and i are driving down the road on sunday. we're doing a little shopping. windows are down, sun is shining, we're laughing and having fun.

guy pulls up next to us in a truck that says something like 'ivan's home remodeling with a phone number'. ivan hangs out the window (good looking. polish, but good looking) and yells to me 'hey! you're cute! why don't you call me?'

i laugh and shake my head no.

he pulls out his phone and points at the number on his truck. 'call me! really!'

i laugh and shake my head no.

kate says 'you should call him!'

does EVERYONE think i'm a tramp?!!!

:)

Hawaii Or Bust. Seriously.

I had the worst weekend of my life.

I was helping Daniel move furniture on Friday so he could paint our bedroom. We have an Asian hardwood bed that weighs 4000 pounds and we had to scoot it out from the wall. On carpet. It seemed to go just fine. Until Saturday morning when I couldn't move my neck.

But I still had a party to prepare for. 53 people would be at my house 3:00 the following day.

Daniel's ex decided she wanted to go camping on Saturday and Sunday. And Mackenzie, apparently, wasn't welcome to join her. (this after she left her to go to South Dakota over Mother's Day weekend). So not only do we have a party to prepare for, but now I have a neck injury and an 11 year old to entertain. And a bedroom to put back together. And a house to clean.

It gets done. I have no idea how. My neck gets worse and worse. Sunday I wake up and it feels like it will snap off my head. And Mackenzie says, "Jacci, I haven't seen Cougie since last night." I reply, "Don't worry, kenz. He's probably sleeping someplace. It's been a busy weekend for all of us!". Hours go by, I have her busy searching the house for him. He never shows up. His bowl is untouched. Eventually we realize that he's gone. Gone. And no one can figure out how.

People start arriving. The house fills up. We go through 8 slabs of ribs, 60 sausages and 6 pounds of shredded chicken for tacos. Still no cat and no amount of booze will fix the pain in my neck.

Have I mentioned my Mom is there? My crazy mom who keeps offering me Xanax and pain pills which of course I decline.

Monday morning, my house is a wreck. My neck is even worse. Daniel cleans up the outside, I clean the inside. My Mom tries to help but she does everything wrong because I'm just in one of those moods. I have muddy foot prints all over my carpet. Still no cat.

Daniel takes Kenzie for breakfast and to return the keg, and eventually home. I decide I have to do something about my neck. I send my Mom home, go to the ER by myself. I'm diagnosed with a cervical strain, which is way better than I thought it would be. I have muscle relaxers and pain pills. Legally prescribed, Mom. Thank you very much. I get my pills and go home. All they do is make sick to my stomach.

We make fliers, canvas the neighborhoods, and search the humane society website. Still no cat. We are absolutely devastated.

I can't wait to get away to Hawaii. I started packing today at 6:00 AM. We can check-in in less than 24 hours.

hawaii update

because i know you all care. :)

6 days.

but, it's really more like two days because it's now the weekend and weekends really fly. so that doesn't count.

have fun at your party, btw, roxy. i'm sorry i'm going to miss the chaos and the dramz. hi to brigid for me!

so it's really more like two days, but i'm not working on tuesday or wednesday, so it's more like i'm going to hawaii TOMORROW. :)

check out the cover up i found at filene's tonight. $73 on ralphlauren.com. $19.99 at filene's plus my 20% off coupon! and it matches my new vic sec bathing suit perfectly.

now. if i could just find an outfit for thursday night.....

i'm in love with david cook

seriously. how cute was he last night when he won? the shout out to his brother, the hug for his mommy, the joyous performance as the confetti came down......i agree with cari's statement that he's the most deserving winner yet!

i also am going to buy guitar hero. :) how funny was it that robo-david was wearing boxers while cook was wearing briefs? did you guys notice that in their commercials? and robo-david didn't seem to know the words and i'm certain he's never seen the movie. sweet little virgin. i'm sure disney will snap him right up.

and what the HELL was wrong with george michael?! he was a train wreck. i told kate that he was hot when i was in high school and she laughed out loud. then she called dibs on robo-david, robert downey, jr (which i overruled based on my dib calling circa 1992 in less than zero), and dwayne 'the rock' johnson from a get smart commercial. she's going to be real trouble, that one.

god bless the paparazzi

maybe i do have that body dysmorphia thing.....

cause i can pull this look off, right? :)

L - I - V - I - N...in sin ;)

big news kids...the boy has "officially" moved in...yes...its true - harley, the last great hold out for EVER finding a great guy - has actually found one that really, really digs me. who knew? ;)

sweet as honey!

harley.....

needs to tell us a story, kittens. everyone pull up a chair around the fire.....

thank you, brit brit

for making me feel better about my bathing suit. no, she doesn't look HORRIBLE, but she's a celeb and has someone cooking for her. or forcing her to work out. while i have to motivate myself, which you can imagine is not easy. i'm a lousy cheerleader. and i'm no low fat gourmet.



but who cares because it's vacation in TWELVE short days!!



ALOHA!!!

did you watch idol last night?

PRICELESS!! simon cowell's face and unspoken exchanges with randy during fantasia's performance were brilliant!

and i'm telling you, i love him, but that david cook needs to LOSE! but then again, if david a loses, his psycho-dad might have a major freak out which could be fun to watch.

and the big girl won on top model, which made me happy, too. now if spike had lost on top chef, it would have been a trifecta of fabulous viewing.

rox, i've changed my mind on the dress

ever since you told me you weren't going to wear your pink dress to the hawaii wedding, i've been second guessing my tasteful garden party floral print and i've decided to go with this one instead.

am i too old for this?

i'm gonna stangle somebody

and here they are:

syd, i think you'll back me up here. they've got me calling hotels to confirm their meeting space this weekend for some buying shows they're doing. they give me 3 hotel contracts. they've got 4 hotels booked. they say 'they're always posting the shows wrong. we want it to say 'gold buying show.' so i review the contracts. they've signed them with the wrong date, wrong posting, wrong everything. not to mention that i'm missing one. i'm like DUDE! do you even read this before you sign it? you HAVE to put the right info on the BEO if you expect the right info when you get to the hotel! and they're like 'why?'

SERIOUSLY!!

i am working at what amounts to a really big lemonade stand run by a couple of stupid, spoiled kids.

Happy Mother's Day

you may or may not know, but my gift expectation for all holidays and birthdays is pretty low. i usually circle items i want from a catalog or forward links off the internet to make sure i get something i actually want or need. and he usually still finds a way to F that up. pirates of the caribbean squid face snow globe, anyone?



mother's day was no exception. i sent an email with a link to the beach bag i wanted and asked for a rechargable battery pack for the video camera i just bought ($50 on clearance at target, seriously).



imagine my surprise when i got the beach bag (granted, the wrong color, but whatever), a battery pack in the right size, AND a gorgeous necklace. paul even said 'because i know how much you like the beach and this will be nice for hawaii'. it's white gold and mother of pearl. he gets an A+ for the holiday. much improved after last weekend's golf fiasco.

This woman has a serious stubble problem

WHY?!

Must See TV is Boring Me

i've long since abandoned scrubs and earl. the office has not been fabulous since the writers strike. i was so bored with it last night i switched out purses while watching.

alec baldwin, however, is still fabulous. i want him to be my boss instead of these beanie baby idiots. gawd i need a vacation.

oh, wait! i AM taking a vacation. see you on the sand in 20 days, rox!!

okay, here's the problem with

american idol. david cook is the best by a long shot and he needs to lose. if he wins then he has to release some sort of crap pop album. if he loses he can release a daughtry album. as it is he's going to miss 4 months of quality recording time to the crap pop tour that he has to go on.

and while i was not particularly thrilled with his 'hungry like a wolf', it is now in my head and in kate's head. we were singing it in the car this morning. luckily i have the original on the ipod.

Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

Introducing a brand new lose weight fast diet!!

so here's my yesterday:

it was GORGEOUS out. 65 degrees, sunny. maybe a little too breezy, but it wasn't snowing, so i'm not going to complain. paul has a tee time with his friends at 10:30am. kate and i are going to do my audits for sunflower, then go shopping. i need some waterproof mascara for hawaii, i still haven't bought a beach bag, i might need a new coverup for my fabulous new bathing suit. kate wants some flip flops and some bella sara trading cards. we're going to have lunch out, maybe at portillo's on the patio.

we jump in the car to go. it doesn't start. battery is dead, dead, dead. i text the darling paul that i need him to come home right after golf because if i can get to the firestone by 4:30, they can fix it. in case you have forgotten, i used to work at a golf course and i know how long it takes to play 18 holes.

we take the stupid dog for a walk which consists of me screaming HEEL for an hour while jerking on lovie's chain. it's a real joy. at one point dog sees a kid she wants to smell and almost knocks me over. i hate that damn dog.

kate is pouty that we aren't shopping. we have no food in the house because it's grocery day. we end up eating a frozen pizza. whee!!

my darling arrives home at 5pm, drunk and sunburned. so very helpful. then after i yell at him, he asks what's for dinner. no, really. he has the nerve to ask what i'm making for dinner. so we get in his car, me driving because he's really drunk. we decide to go to the international house of pancakes for dinner because we both think breakfast sounds like a good idea.

wait. my stomach is cramping up just talking about this.....ouch.

i order the rooty tooty fresh and fruity which consists of 2 eggs (over medium), 4 slices of bacon (kate eats 2 of them), and 2 pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream on top. this to me does not seem like a completely unreasonable meal. sure, i've been avoiding carbs, so the pancakes are a bit much, but eggs aren't all that bad and the bacon has a lot of the fat burnt out of it.....

but no, OH NO, did my body reject the rooty tooty fresh and fruity. i haven't been sick like that in YEARS. the sweating, the cramping. but here's the diet part: I LOST A POUND and a HALF IN JUST ONE EVENING!

AND i became bulimic. while kate and i were pouting over our frozen pizza, i put one of her cookies in my mouth. it was a butter cookie from the polish market across the street. after i put it in my mouth and realized that it was more butter than cookie, i spit it out.....maybe that's not bulimia.

the point is, my bathing suit came in from vic sec and while it's not perfect, it will absolutely do for hawaii. in 24 days, babies!!