thank you, perez

for posting the neil patrick harris pics from monday's how i met your mother.  this show is always so freakin' hilarious with a bonus this week of naked doogie.

who knew he was built like THAT?!!

happy tday, girlies!

i am SO over rihanna.

in case you missed it last night....

90210 will not be new again until january 6th.

JANUARY.

and last night was the first time that i was able to watch it without being interrupted by:

kate

weather/satellite issues

baseball

basketball

politics.

so now i'm in, but now i'll forget all about it by 2009.

ps. i did not believe for a minute that bitch girl would wear that ridiculous wyandotte county outfit to the lacrosse game. i mean really.

pps. i also did not buy that father of the year harry would be so insensitive to black son.

pss. shannen doherty is a lousy actress. was she this bad on the first one?

november 15, 2008

is apparently NOT too early for christmas music on chicago radio.

5:30am wakeup call

*SPLASH*

*sounds of struggle*

*SPLASH*

"mew"

jack jack IN the toilet.  

SCORE!!

i just bought this bag, except in etienne aigner logo fabric in carmel brown with darker brown leather trim for $30.00 at filene's.  yes, i'm leaving the $128 suggested retail price tag on it when i give it to maggie for christmas.  and i've got a box from carson pirie scott that it will fit in.

i think i love filene's more than i love my husband.  

well, that was different

today i took advantage of my multi-cultural neighborhood.

the last two times i have had my eyebrows done at a salon, i've ended up with burns.  the aesthetician thinks this is because i use retin-a.

i was bitching about it to a mom at school.  she says 'why don't you have them threaded?'

kansas girl says 'what?'

'threaded at an indian hair salon' says caucasian mom.  says it's funky the first couple of times, but that it's totally workable.

they basically pull the hair out with a piece of string.  it's like having your brows plucked, but doing 10 hairs at once instead of individually. 

strange, but i look fabulous and the whole process took 5 minutes and cost me $7.

i recommend!

i'm SO sleepy

kittens don't sleep.  apparently they never sleep.

first, i can't get good pictures of either.  i can't figure out how to NOT make their eyes show up red.  maybe they're possessed.  it would explain their inability to sleep.

one on top is liz lemon.  lizzie.  busy lizzie.  lizzie enjoys eating and playing 'bird on a stick'.  lizzie would play 'bird' for 15 hours a day if someone would do it for her.  she would spend 4 hours eating and 2 hours hissing and domination posing.  then 3 hours sleeping.  with one eye open.  she attacks feet in the middle of the night.  but she's sweet and she seems to like kate a lot, mostly because kate is most willing to run the 'bird on a stick' the longest.  she talks like a siamese should.

jack donaghy is on the bottom.  he's MUCH cuter than this picture.  he likes to kiss.  and i mean that literally.  on the mouth.  it's a little strange and extremely icky.  he's apparently recovering from fleas and is in desperate need of a bath.  lizzie feels he's beneath her socially.  he is not allowed to touch the 'bird'.  he would cuddle for 20 hours a day if lizzie wasn't so jealous.  he's getting a bath tonight.  he's not going to be happy about it.

WTF?!

I was looking through some photos online, while eating another turkey sandwich from home - ick - and came across this.

What has happened to Marissa?

I imagine that she partied hard the night before. Probably still feeling the effects since she lost the bottom half of her outfit. Seriously. You can't tell me that she purposefully dressed in just hose?!!! And they ARE hose! You can see the "panty" part!

speech 101

sorry, rox, but i'm going to tell you my speech class story.

i took speech at jccc. i was 16. i walk into class and the teacher is mrs. bonnie suede. my freshman year english teacher from oregon trail junior high.

i HATED mrs. suede. more than anything. i tried, unsuccessfully to get transferred out of her class. i was disruptive and rude. i spent time with the guidance counselor discussing how much i hated her. my mother got involved. she was HORRIBLE. she made us read 'great expectations'. OUT LOUD! who can read like that?! (besides 2nd graders)

anyway, first day of class, mrs. suede (call me bonnie, she tells us- not a chance i think) has us do an icebreaker. it's 'get to know your classmates' bingo. i learn that one lady has a dog, one guy is an accountant, crap like that. but there is one square that no one can fill in. i says "has gone skinny dipping". no one can check this off.

EXCEPT mrs. suede. i was emotionally scarred imagining my least favorite teacher in the world who now wanted me to call her bonnie, swimming naked. i should have sued the school district.

final project: 45 minute speech. i did a presentation on how to choose the right pet for your family. my speech was probably about 15 minutes long. but i brought in a zoo of animals and all the demonstrating ate up the rest of the time. i had a dog, a cat, a parrot, an iguana, a boa, and a couple of hamsters. (i brought diane, the wedding weeper, to assist.)

after the last class, we all went to westport and i got into a bar and ordered my first underage cocktail. a fuzzy navel. :) bonnie was there. should've added that to my lawsuit......

VOTE!

i passed!

i got a 96% on the miller test.  apparently my brain was sore from working it out, bitch!

now i get to go to college.  again.  ah, i remember it like it was yesterday.  the beer, the boys, the ball games, the boys, the parties, the boys......why didn't i stay in college longer?!?