i'm gonna stangle somebody

and here they are:

syd, i think you'll back me up here. they've got me calling hotels to confirm their meeting space this weekend for some buying shows they're doing. they give me 3 hotel contracts. they've got 4 hotels booked. they say 'they're always posting the shows wrong. we want it to say 'gold buying show.' so i review the contracts. they've signed them with the wrong date, wrong posting, wrong everything. not to mention that i'm missing one. i'm like DUDE! do you even read this before you sign it? you HAVE to put the right info on the BEO if you expect the right info when you get to the hotel! and they're like 'why?'

SERIOUSLY!!

i am working at what amounts to a really big lemonade stand run by a couple of stupid, spoiled kids.

Happy Mother's Day

you may or may not know, but my gift expectation for all holidays and birthdays is pretty low. i usually circle items i want from a catalog or forward links off the internet to make sure i get something i actually want or need. and he usually still finds a way to F that up. pirates of the caribbean squid face snow globe, anyone?



mother's day was no exception. i sent an email with a link to the beach bag i wanted and asked for a rechargable battery pack for the video camera i just bought ($50 on clearance at target, seriously).



imagine my surprise when i got the beach bag (granted, the wrong color, but whatever), a battery pack in the right size, AND a gorgeous necklace. paul even said 'because i know how much you like the beach and this will be nice for hawaii'. it's white gold and mother of pearl. he gets an A+ for the holiday. much improved after last weekend's golf fiasco.

This woman has a serious stubble problem

WHY?!

Must See TV is Boring Me

i've long since abandoned scrubs and earl. the office has not been fabulous since the writers strike. i was so bored with it last night i switched out purses while watching.

alec baldwin, however, is still fabulous. i want him to be my boss instead of these beanie baby idiots. gawd i need a vacation.

oh, wait! i AM taking a vacation. see you on the sand in 20 days, rox!!

okay, here's the problem with

american idol. david cook is the best by a long shot and he needs to lose. if he wins then he has to release some sort of crap pop album. if he loses he can release a daughtry album. as it is he's going to miss 4 months of quality recording time to the crap pop tour that he has to go on.

and while i was not particularly thrilled with his 'hungry like a wolf', it is now in my head and in kate's head. we were singing it in the car this morning. luckily i have the original on the ipod.

Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

Introducing a brand new lose weight fast diet!!

so here's my yesterday:

it was GORGEOUS out. 65 degrees, sunny. maybe a little too breezy, but it wasn't snowing, so i'm not going to complain. paul has a tee time with his friends at 10:30am. kate and i are going to do my audits for sunflower, then go shopping. i need some waterproof mascara for hawaii, i still haven't bought a beach bag, i might need a new coverup for my fabulous new bathing suit. kate wants some flip flops and some bella sara trading cards. we're going to have lunch out, maybe at portillo's on the patio.

we jump in the car to go. it doesn't start. battery is dead, dead, dead. i text the darling paul that i need him to come home right after golf because if i can get to the firestone by 4:30, they can fix it. in case you have forgotten, i used to work at a golf course and i know how long it takes to play 18 holes.

we take the stupid dog for a walk which consists of me screaming HEEL for an hour while jerking on lovie's chain. it's a real joy. at one point dog sees a kid she wants to smell and almost knocks me over. i hate that damn dog.

kate is pouty that we aren't shopping. we have no food in the house because it's grocery day. we end up eating a frozen pizza. whee!!

my darling arrives home at 5pm, drunk and sunburned. so very helpful. then after i yell at him, he asks what's for dinner. no, really. he has the nerve to ask what i'm making for dinner. so we get in his car, me driving because he's really drunk. we decide to go to the international house of pancakes for dinner because we both think breakfast sounds like a good idea.

wait. my stomach is cramping up just talking about this.....ouch.

i order the rooty tooty fresh and fruity which consists of 2 eggs (over medium), 4 slices of bacon (kate eats 2 of them), and 2 pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream on top. this to me does not seem like a completely unreasonable meal. sure, i've been avoiding carbs, so the pancakes are a bit much, but eggs aren't all that bad and the bacon has a lot of the fat burnt out of it.....

but no, OH NO, did my body reject the rooty tooty fresh and fruity. i haven't been sick like that in YEARS. the sweating, the cramping. but here's the diet part: I LOST A POUND and a HALF IN JUST ONE EVENING!

AND i became bulimic. while kate and i were pouting over our frozen pizza, i put one of her cookies in my mouth. it was a butter cookie from the polish market across the street. after i put it in my mouth and realized that it was more butter than cookie, i spit it out.....maybe that's not bulimia.

the point is, my bathing suit came in from vic sec and while it's not perfect, it will absolutely do for hawaii. in 24 days, babies!!