Literally. I had the STRANGEST dream last night. Let me set the stage: I joined the alum group of my sorority here. I really enjoyed the alum group in KC and since I've lived here for 18 months and have no friends, I need something to do. So last night they are having a little meeting and a book exchange. The president of the group is super sweet but about as rambling and airheaded as they come and no one seems to be able to reign her in. So that makes me irritable, as you can imagine. That really has nothing to do with my dream, but someone needs to know about this woman and I don't know anyone there well enough to say "will someone SHUT HER UP, PLEASE!"
Anyway, they have this sweet spread of gooodies to snack on, but I'm still rocking the diet (down 0.8 pounds since yesterday!) so I only eat what I determine to be the healthy appetizer. Grape tomatoes on little skewers with fresh basil and mozzarella, drizzled with basalmic vinegar and salted and peppered. It was like heaven on a stick. And I ate 6 of them which was well over the polite number I should have taken. I think my guilt from overeating veggies on a stick combined with the exasperation of listening to these people ramble on about alzheimers quilts and initiation at a college I've never heard of caused me to have crazy dreams.
Rox, I hope this is no indication of how our vacation will be:
Roxy and I arrive in lovely Honolulu. We race to the hotel to change into beach wear and grab our snorkel gear. Only I've FORGOTTEN my bathing suit AND my snorkel. So we have to go to TARGET to buy new. We get to the beach so late that the sun is going down and I'm in an ill-fitting xhilaration swimsuit that I can't keep my boobs in because that brand is CLEARLY for 100 pound 14 year old girls.
Good news! There's a party on the beach! With minor celebrities! So we crash the party. I'm flirting with
Vincent D'Onofrio
and Will Farrell. WTF? I mean it's my dream, can't I upgrade these guys? Can't Beckham be there? Don't get me wrong, I completely find Vincent attractive in a cerebral L&O kind of way, not in a scary/sad Stanley Kubrick kind of way.
I decide I'm definitely going to sleep with Vincent. But he has to go "get his penis" first. I have no idea in dream world why he doesn't already have it with him. So while he's gone, Will Farrell (and I mean hairy, 70s parody Will Farrell) decides to make his move. Will Farrell is so aggressive and over the top that I have no choice but to be dragged into......wait for it.....
a british pub for a drink.
Roxy is already there. Singing Hannah Montanta karaoke (thanks, I already have "Rockstar" in my head and have for days) with the Manchester United soccer team. But Will Farrell gets so drunk on Guinness that I'm able to escape. I run back down to the beach where I find Vincent, but at this point he just wants to go to sleep and he still can't find his penis. And I'm mad at Roxy because she's got the Manchester United soccer team and I'm stuck with a 6'3" 200pound dickless guy.
Then MuShu scratches me in the face trying to get under the covers and I wake up mad.
3 comments:
Are thing OK at home, Denny? I am thinking, hairy guys and having no penis... these are serious issues that need to be dealt with. And preferrably, AT A CELEBRITY BEACH PARTY, where no one knows your name.
Why is it a nightmare? Sounds like I'm having a good time.
Seriously, I agree with Syd. Something is amiss.
Rox, you're always having a good time!! That's why Hawaii is going to be so much fun!
My hairy guy has a penis. but instead of being 6'3" and 200 lbs, he's 5'6" and 200 lbs. :)
What's amiss is the weather!! I have to get out of here!! KC in 12 days.
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