as you know, i'm going to hawaii with my BFF roxy at the end of may. you are all intimately familiar with the trauma of bathing suit season.
my diet is stuck. i haven't lost a pound in the last 2 weeks. it's completely unacceptable. so i am forcing it by eating nothing but fruits, veggies, and low fat dairy for the next 5 days or until i become such an unbelievable bitch that someone buys me a slice of pepperoni pizza or a cheeseburger or something.
i even exercised yesterday. hard, labor intensive, actual exercise. i technically didn't sweat because i was swimming laps, but i was pretty sure i was going to have a heart attack mid stream. and yes, i did look fat in my bathing suit.
some fake tan would probably help......
4 comments:
tan always helps to look smaller than the actual object. i have found that the Oil of Olay self-tan lotion is good, and the spray-on coppertone.
exercise is awful - i HATE it!!!!!!!
i have to be in a suit by end of june - annual float trip. And while i know i won't be the largest person visiting Noel, MO that weekend, I will be the largest of our group. needless to say, i am sigining up for Weight Watchers online this week and see if that will work.
okay. here's how my first day of fruit and veggies only went:
OMG IF I DON'T EAT SOMETHING I'M GOING TO DIE!!!
so for dinner i had a big salad and a hot dog, no bun. let me state that it was hebrew national's 1 point hot dog, so i don't feel too badly about it. (syd, take note. you'll need to know about 1 pt hot dogs.)
but then i went to my sorority meeting. first, lucy's house is in-fucking-credible. gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous. but when lucy brought out the snacks, i nearly crumbled. 7 layer taco dip with real guac. cheese balls. little finger sandwiches. homemade brownies. something that looked like toffee bars.
i made it through.
until AFTER the meeting when that sweet little 65 year old bitch went into her fabulously appointed kitchen and brought out a tray of hand dipped chocolate covered strawberries. and not just milk chocolate. but dark chocolate and white chocolate. the whole room went "oooooooo"!!
i smashed her little hostess tray, punched her in the face and ran out of the house.
EXCELLENT!! So you made it through?!
i survived.
barely.
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